Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
