My sheets look like a crime scene.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
