I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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