You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize