Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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