The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
