He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
