Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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