Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
