We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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