Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
