Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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