When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize