he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
