it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
