yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
