Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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