To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
