don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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