I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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