she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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