It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
