I seem to have left my pride at pride
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He has the fingertips of a God
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