i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
