I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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