so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
