Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize