new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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