I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
