Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize