You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
