then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
