dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
