Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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