I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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