I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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