Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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