why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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