I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
