I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
