This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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