My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
