Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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