No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
