During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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