Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
