I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
We got so high we made milksteak
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
