the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
How's work?
Spinning.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
