Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
