just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
