I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
