Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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