i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the day after is always just damage control
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
