I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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