My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
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she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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