do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
