How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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