Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
