i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
do nipples grow back?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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