I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
