My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
As shirtless as possible
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
