I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
