dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
