When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
