week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
