I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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