Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
